How many of you parents have a specific plan in place should your child suddenly disappear and you are unable to locate him/her? I bet not many of you do...I've never worked a case where the parents of a child who's disappeared haven't said to me "We never thought it would happen to US!" These days, that's a very dangerous way to think.
Just recently I was approached by 3 separate sets of parents whose kids had nearly been abducted by a stranger - all within the same 2 week period.
The first was a mother shopping in a store with her youngster in the seat of her shopping cart.
She was distracted by her cell phone, turned away from her child for mere seconds and that was all it took for a man to snatch her child. Luckily for her, other shoppers witnessed the abduction, chased after the abductor and got her child away from him.
The second was a couple shopping at their local farm store with their 2 children. Their father saved them from abduction by locking them in the truck while he was loading their purchases in the bed of his truck. A man rushed his truck trying to grab his kids while he was doing this. Locking the truck prevented the abductor from getting to his children.
In the last case, a mother let her young daughter and her cousin go bike riding in their suburban neighborhood, when they noticed a man in a car following them. Neither of the girls had cell phones to call for help. As luck would have it a woman was out walking her dog and the girls rushed to her for help. The woman phoned the mother and also noticed the same man in the car driving slowly back and forth while she was on her cell phone. That is all that saved the girls from a possible abduction.
When this man saw the woman on her cell phone while looking at him, he took off very quickly.
Unbelievably, when I asked this woman if she'd phoned police about what was almost certainly an abduction in process, she told me no, she didn't think it was important to since the girls were safe. So that potential abductor is free to attempt to abduct other children.
None of those parents ever dreamed a stranger would attempt to abduct their children, much less right under their noses.
I'm going to teach you some signs to watch for that indicate abductors are at work in your area, ways you can safeguard your children and what to do if your child would disappear and you're unable to locate him/her.
Signs To Watch For
Unfortunately, these abductors are so skillful at what they do it's extremely difficult to spot an impending abduction. One must practice their observation skills. Most American sleepwalk their way through life so aren't very observant at all. I could arrive at an accident scene, have 12 witnesses to that accident and I'd get 24 different versions of what happened out of those 12 witnesses.
You need to be keenly observant whenever you're out in public with your kids. How many of you look at other cars when you walk through a parking lot? Or even your own car before you get back into it?
It's no longer a lone abductor at work. There are now rings at work targeting kids to abduct and traffick.
They mark cars in the parking lots. 1F1B does indeed signal 1 female with 1 baby. The abductor trafficking ring is then watching the car for that mother and baby to return to it in order to attempt the abduction.
Check your car whenever you've parked in a public place, especially the windows. If anything looks amiss, contact authorities immediately.
When moving through a store, again be aware. Does someone seem to be following you?
Eyeing up your and your child? If you find yourself in this position, head for a checkout lane, a customer service desk or the closest area where you'd have a lot of people around you. Then contact the authorities. Never send your child to a restroom alone or allow him/her to wander around the store by themselves. Use your cell phone to try to take a photo of the suspicious person. These abductors do NOT want their photos taken for obvious reasons.
Another thing you want to watch for is suspicious vehicles around your home. These traffickers surveil the child they plan to abduct for at least 2 weeks prior to attempting the actual abduction so they can get your child's daily routine down pat and know where he/she will be at any given time. They've often been spotted not only in the neighborhood but parked at the child's school. When your kids leave the house take a quick look up and down your street so you can spot any suspicious vehicles that may be surveilling children.
Keep a close eye on your kids whenever in public and be keenly aware of your surroundings at all times. Put your cell phone away, it's a distraction. You have voicemail for a reason and you can return calls when you and your kids are safely back home. (Unless it's a medical emergency or some other sort of dire emergency)
Prepare Yourself Ahead of Time
The first instinct a parent will respond to when attempting to protect their child is to physically try to protect their child - in the wrong way. Please watch the video below to know how to respond in a situation where you have to physically confront an abductor/trafficker.
You and your kids take a few self defense classes. It's good exercise and will provide you with some quality time spent with your kids. Furthermore, when you're not around they'll know how to try to defend themselves against a potential abductor.
Even better if you can find a class that teaches how to use the body pressure points to control a much larger adversary within seconds simply by applying pressure to specific pressure points. You can subdue a threat within 3 seconds using these pressure points.
Install security cameras all around the perimeter of your home.
If you can't afford the real deal, you can purchase fake security cameras like the one at right relatively inexpensively.
As I mentioned, these traffickers do NOT want their faces or themselves on camera!
Even the illusion they're on camera will likely make them have second thoughts in targeting your home and child.
The best defense is a good offense.
Vary your child's daily routine as much as possible.
Sure, there are things not within your control to vary like sports practices and events. But vary whatever you can.
If your child walks to school, don't let them use the same route every day. Vary the route they take if possible. (Just one example) During that surveillance period these traffickers are making note of exactly what your child does when. Make that as difficult on them as possible by changing up their daily routine as much as possible. Don't give them the precise time when they have the best chance to abduct your child.
Don't make the mistake of thinking teaching your kids "Stranger Danger" will be enough to keep them from going with a stranger! Watch the following video! You'll be stunned how many kids hopped right into the car of an actor portraying a potential abductor. Most certainly these kids' parents were stunned - as you'll see!
When tempted by an abductor with "I have some new puppies! Want to come see them?" or your child being told you were hurt in an accident, are in the hospital and the abductor was sent to take you to see mom in the hospital, any thoughts of Stranger Danger are going right out the window of your child's noggin.
It's a good idea to set up a password between you and your kids in the event someone tries to pick them up and take them anywhere. Teach your child NOT to accept any rides from anyone who can't give them that password. This password should be kept strictly between you, any adults authorized by you to transport your kids anywhere and your child.
Don't let your kids go out alone even if it's only to walk 1 or 2 blocks from home. Yes, this is difficult with tweens and teens...but right now they are the target abductees of choice to be trafficked as sex slaves. Traveling in groups of 3 or more makes abductions next to impossible to execute. Kids that age tend to think they're infallible to begin with...but they can't afford to think "It would never happen to ME!" any more than you as parents can.
Most kids have cell phones these days but if yours don't, get them one they can use in an emergency and install a GPS tracking app on it.
You might also want to consider getting them a police whistle they can use to summon help. (Not a toy whistle!) Police whistles are metal, durable and very loud. You can buy one here
Never leave your child alone in a vehicle even if it's just for a few seconds. Remember, these traffickers can abduct a child in under 60 seconds.
Make sure your kids carry an ID card somewhere on their person. If the child is drugged or unconscious they won't be able to tell anyone who they are, their address and phone number. Include any pertinent medical alerts. Or order some temporary tattoo paper from someplace like Amazon and print out their phone number on it. Have them tattoo themselves. You carry extras with you for unexpected events or crowds.
Avoid personalized clothing. Having a visible name enables people to ‘appear’ to know your child. Anyone could speak to them and say something like, “Oh hello *your child’s name*, your mommy asked me to find you. She’s this way, come with me and we’ll find her” You child wants to find Mommy and the stranger knows his/her name so instantly, your child trusts this stranger and goes.
By the same token, don't dress your kids in red, white, black or a combination of those colors nor any kind of clothing with occult numbers on it. That's just asking for trouble.
Be careful what you post online and monitor what your kids do online!
It's a trolling ground for pedophiles, abductors and traffickers. Don't advertise information and photos pertaining to your child, keep that private.
Also watch like a hawk what your kids are doing online. They don't know who's on the other end in an Internet chat room and sex offenders make a habit of frequenting popular kid chatrooms and passing themselves off as kids to lure your child in.
Keep an updated file on your child including:
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Recent photo
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Identifying characteristics - height, weight, eye and hair color, age, any identifying marks like birthmarks, scars, piercings, tattoos, etc., clothes he/she was wearing at the time of disappearance.
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Your child's fingerprints - call your local law enforcement agency and ask them to fingerprint your child. There's normally no cost to do this and your child's prints will automatically be entered into the AFIS data bank law enforcement agencies use.
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The name of your child's dentist and contact info for that dentist.
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Contact information for yourself so investigators know where to get in touch with you.
Having a visible name enables people to ‘appear’ to know your child. Anyone could speak to them and say something like, “Oh hello *your child’s name*, your mommy asked me to find you. She’s this way, come with me and we’ll find her” You child wants to find Mommy and the stranger knows his/her name so instantly, your child trusts this stranger and goes. By the same token, don't dress your kids in red, white, black or a combination of those colors nor any kind of clothing with occult numbers on it. That's just asking for trouble.
Setting Up A Support/Action Group
This is the most important thing you can do - setting up a support/action group in the event your child would disappear.
The first thing most parents do when they can't locate their child is to phone police. That's all well and good...but police forces are understaffed and may not be able to respond immediately. And then there are the infiltrated law enforcement agencies and rogue cops gone wild out there.
You want to assemble a group of family members, close friends and neighbors within a reasonable distance from your home so they can respond to your call quickly.
You want to divide tasks up among them to cover as many tasks as possible simultaneously.
Here's how you want to organize your support/action group:
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A person to handle media. This person would immediately begin contacting news agencies, TV and radio stations to get them covering and broadcasting the fact your child has disappeared. This same person can set up social media pages alerting viewers to your missing child. They can also act as your spokesperson for media interviews etc. if you so wish. The idea here is to get your child's face seen by as many people as possible within that critical first 48 hours.
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A person to contact and work with the National Center For Missing & Exploited Children. They can contact the center on the 24 hour hotline 800 phone number shown below and tell them you have a missing child.
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You want yet another person making up and coordinating the distribution of missing person flyers in the area. Here's a sample template one can use to make up a missing person flyer:
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If you haven't done so already when you failed to locate your child, you should have another person checking with hospitals, for traffic accidents your child may have been involved in, law enforcement agencies apart from the investigating agency that may have encountered your child after he/she disappeared. The investigating agency will issue a BOLO (Be on the Lookout) and an Amber Alert that will go to other law enforcement agencies but this takes time and you want to maximize your efforts during the first critical 48 hours.
This same person can contact friends or haunts your child frequents that haven't been contacted yet and that may know something re: the whereabouts of your child.
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Another person can line up searchers to join the police's organized search - for example, Scouting groups like Eagle Scouts, off duty firefighters and the like. You don't want to send them out searching on their own! They could inadvertently contaminate a potential crime scene and once evidence is destroyed it's gone forever. But you can get them lined up to help search and pass those volunteers on to the investigating agency coordinating a search.
If you know a pilot that owns their own plane or helicopter, contact them and ask them to do a voluntary search from the air. They may know other pilots willing to help as well. Or phone your local airport management and request they ask for volunteer search pilots.
Specifically for the parents of the missing child: You're going to want to rush out and actively join the search for your child. Understandable, but that's not the best way to proceed for either you, your child and other children you still have at home that will still need your time and attention.
Having a missing child is extremely exhausting - mentally, emotionally and physically. It's very easy for parents to burn out during the search process. My recommendation is for one parent to be at home, the other parent joining the search party.
You want one of you at home in case say, a hospital phones stating they have your child and they need your consent to treat him/her medically. Or the child may return home. Or the child could manage to phone you if they were abducted. You want someone home for these reasons.
Then the following day switch roles, the parent who was out with the search party stay at home and the one who was at home join the search party. This gives both of you the chance to recharge your batteries a bit from the rigors of a physical search.
Most often parents don't sleep, don't get enough rest, don't eat...that isn't going to help you or your missing child.
If you're a single parent then get a trusted family member or friend to partner up with you in doing the above.
If you have other children at home, either see if they can stay with a family member or friend for a few days OR make them an active part of the search activities. What I found in the cases I worked is that other children in the family didn't always respond positively when suddenly the focus of all attention shifted to the missing child and they kind of got lost in the shuffle. Remember, they're going through their own anxiety in regards to their missing sibling and that needs to be addressed even if their sibling is still missing, if you don't want possible behavioral issues cropping up down the road.
Dealing With the Investigating Authorities
There's an investigation pattern investigators follow. They start with ruling in or out those closest to the child as persons of interest, then work outward in a widening circle. Most child abductions and homicides are performed by family members closest to the child - which means you'll be the primary subjects at least until you're ruled out as having had nothing to do with perpetrating your child's disappearance.
Of course, you want to help authorities as best you can in helping them locate your child HOWEVER...remember law enforcement agencies have been infiltrated and these trafficking and pedophile rings typically set up a "fall guy" for crimes they themselves committed. "They themselves" can also include corrupt law enforcement officials.
For this reason, NEVER EVER allow police to interrogate you without legal representation present to help protect you and your rights.
Investigators/interrogators have all kinds of interrogation tricks they use, they can even lie to you to try to get you to confess to something you didn't do. And it's perfectly legal for them to use these tactics!
Once you tell them "I want my lawyer present" (or "lawyer up" as we called it) they cannot legally ask you another question without your attorney present. So if you're brought in for questioning (and you will be!) the first words out of your mouth to investigators is "I want my attorney present".
This will not only help protect you, it will also help prevent investigators from potentially developing tunnel vision and focusing in on you as the guilty party simply because most abductions are conducted by family members.
Know that polygraph tests are NOT admissible in court for a reason. They are not considered infallible in their results. I personally would never take a police polygraph test unless advised to by my attorney - not because I was guilty of anything but because I've been subjected to corrupt, rigged police investigation while being railroaded out of law enforcement. That's not something you want to discover yourself being the subject of.
The upside to this is that good honest cops are more protective of children than anyone. They will go above and beyond in trying to safely return a child home. They won't be able to share details of an open investigation with you...so expect this. There are aspects of the case they keep to themselves that only the abductor would know. It's a good method of making sure they have the right person(s) when honing in on the offender. If the offender is on the run, they don't want to tip the offender off to what they may or may not know and they don't want the media tipping the offender off either. Their not sharing information isn't because they're doing nothing or don't want you to know the details of the investigation. They're just following investigation protocol.
